Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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