Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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