lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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