HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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