You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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