the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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