If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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