I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
