Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You did what with his pubic hair?
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