Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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