I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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