Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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