brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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