dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
