So drunk its hurt
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
