Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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