bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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