I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
