His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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