The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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