I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
