omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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