We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
