oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
