I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
