I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
