I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
