It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize