whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
