dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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