I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
