I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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