She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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