I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize