Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
we made out on top of his cat.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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