Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I sprained my soul last night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
i've created a new STD.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
