My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
