Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
