He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
