u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
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