Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
True strength comes from lack of pants
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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