You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
