So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize