i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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