I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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