You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I didn't notice because vodka
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
