if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
