bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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