No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
