I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
