what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize