New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
