so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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